Dirk: snoop through Dave's room
by PinkYaoi135
Summary: Dave: go to the kitchen to satiate your grumbling tummy. first Homestuck fic... as it is my new obsession.


**originally I wrote this with red and orange text showing which strider you are... FF don't likey colors! so Dirk is italicized**

You are sitting in the kitchen, contemplating whether or not you should attempt to eat raisin bran again.

_Dave's loving bro, You, is doing what all loving bro's are naturally inclined and in fact expected to do… snooping through Dave's things._

You have no idea your best bro would snoop through your stuff… or well maybe you do that's why you have the best password in the world.

_After a quick check of the sheets for anything suspicious. (No rehab or condoms needed… yet.) You jump to the desk for a speedy sweep of Dave's pictures._

No sight of bro. Dave is sure one bowl couldn't hurt, and his stomach agrees.

Password Required  
[ | ]

_This poses no challenge for you as you know your baby brother better than anyone and you know you can guess anything he'd put for a password._

Password Required  
[ imthecoolkid ]

Incorrect Password  
Try Again

_That didn't work? You are quite sure that had to be the password! Let's see…_

Password Required  
[ Imthecoolkid ]

WELCOME DAVE

_Ha! Nothing gets past you! You celebrate your victory for a moment. But only for a moment as Dave could return any second who knows what that weird little shit is up to. He had better not be eating raisin bran. you think._

Completely unaware of the hacking of your private computer you enjoy your cereal with your trademark stony expression on your face. You attempt to avoid Lil Cal's gaze as he sits across the table from you limply.

_You quickly scan the folders of images he's saved from the web, pictures of him and his little buddies_  
_(some of them eerily familiar looking) and stuff he's drawn for his webcomic. Aaaaand… Bingo._

You take a moment to think how messed up your brother is. Let's face it his fascination for puppets is just odd and creepy as fuck. You swiftly kick the chair Lil Cal is resting on to the ground.

_Just as you are about to click on the suspicious file suspiciously labeled 'Idek' you feel a disturbance. And wonder if Dave and Lil Cal are getting along. They always seem to so you push the thought away and open the folder._

Just as the creepy puppet hits the floor you begin to freak out… what if you broke him… what would your bro say? … what would your bro do…? You jump up and begin picking up the puppet sitting him back in his chair where he can watch you creepily. You even find yourself saying sorry under your breath.

_The folder is mostly baby pictures of you and Dave but at times you aren't sure which one is which. Finally you find something suspicious. Finally… the boy was starting to look normal. You enlarge it and choke on your spit. The picture is of your sweet seemingly innocent baby bro balls deep in his little friend … John if memory serves. Oh hell nawh! You jump from your seat and sprint to the kitchen. Dave is eating raisin bran, that little shit! He's just trying to get on your bad side now._

Your Bro runs into the room and punches your cereal off the table he snatches you by the collar making it difficult to ask him what the hell is going on. You begin to assume he's mad about you knocking Cal over, but your lack of oxygen makes it difficult to apologize or make excuses. You are dragged into your room and plopped into your desk chair staring at what looks like gay porn… what…

_"THE FUCK IS GOING ON? SPILL!" You demand, Dave stares at the screen with a blank expression on his face._

"I have no idea what you are talking about… why am I looking at gay porn?"

_"The question, Dave is why am I _looking at gay porn?" you ask with a finger pointed right at his smug little face

"I literally just was asking myself that. What is the issue? If neither one of us wants to look at this… why are we looking at this?"

_"Dave if you have something you need to tell me. Just say it now! If you like boys… I'll just accept the fact that I'll never be an uncle!" you say sadly._

Your bro is under the pretense that you are the blonde boy banging the brunette boy in this picture but you cant really see either of their faces. With an inward snicker you decide its time to set him straight. "Look Bro, do you think that's me?" you ask. Your bro nods with totally ironic tears glinting down his cheeks. "No way man. Mine is WAY bigger than that."

_"What are you talking about?" you say before you take a closer look at the screen really examining this picture for the first time. You look into the face of the brunette contorted into pure ecstasy Jake? You scream much more high pitched than you would normally. And begin trying to close it frantically. Why did dave have that stuff? You thought you had all that stuff hidden away in a safe behind your fridge. "Dave. Where did you get that?" you ask about to cry._

"Shit was on the hard drive when you gave me the computer I didn't notice that stuff. Who is that guy? He's awful pretty bro, you two totally make a cute couple. Why didn't I ever meet him?" you tease your Bro mercilessly.

_"Shut the hell up Dave or I swear I'll beat you to death with Lil Cal." You say very seriously as you glide out of the room ashamedly._

With your bro gone you open up your zip files named "English homework" and admire the sexy pictures John took for you. You snuggle your face to your monitor and whisper to a half-naked John posed teasingly on his bed. "You're safe… don't worry bro won't ever find you…

== Dave: change your password


End file.
